Relationships & SexDr Angela

Boyfriend wants me in a sluttish wet T-shirt

Boyfriend wants me in a sluttish wet T-shirt

Dear Angela

My boyfriend and I (both 20) are just back from a holiday in Spain. On our first night back, he asked if I’d take a shower with him...with my t-shirt on. He said a wet top would look sexy on me.

I’m sure he got this idea on holidays - we went to a disco one night where they had a wet t-shirt competition and he was ogling the girls big time.

I don’t want to play along, I think a girl in a wet t-shirt looks sluttish.

ANGELA SAYS: Wet t-shirt competitions are surely not to everybody’s taste. But it’s fine if you wear a wet t-shirt for your boyfriend’s eyes only.

The wet look - a top clinging to bare skin - can be extremely sexy, so it’s normal and understandable that your boyfriend would love to see you in one. It’s only a harmless wish, so jump over your shadow and play along.


How can I get mum to ditch her holiday toyboy?

Dear Angela

Like every summer for the last five years, my mother (58) has booked a holiday in Kenya. She’s going to see a man, a local guy in his late 20s. In between holidays, she sends him money, €50 or €100 here and there. It adds up to thousands each year.

Now she’s off again, with a suitcase full of presents and designer clothes. I don’t want her to go, but she insists she’s having a great time with him; that he looks after her and makes her feel loved and wanted.

How can she be so stupid? She is paying for sex and I find that unacceptable. This guy probably has other women who’re ‘supporting’ him. How can I convince mum that she should stop this foolishness and cancel her holidays?

ANGELA SAYS:  It’s understandable that you’re not happy about your mother’s toyboy, but I’d say she knows what she’s doing. Try to see her point of view: She enjoys the company of a young guy who is attentive, who gives her compliments and makes her feel desirable.

Ok, you can say she’s paying for the man’s attention, and this might not be up to everybody’s moral standards. But I’d say if both people involved are happy with the arrangement - leave them be. Be supportive.


Nappy fetish is weird

Dear Angela

After 15 years of marriage, I (44) found out that my husband (49) is a fetishist. I caught him sitting on the couch, wearing a nappy. I didn’t know to laugh or cry. In the end I did both.

He was so embarrassed, he explained he’s had this nappy fantasy for years and that it’d be great if we could live it out together. He seemed happy to get it off his chest, but I’m not happy. How can he think nappies are sexy?

ANGELA SAYS: It’s hard to see how nappies can be sexually exciting for a grown up, married man – it’s one of those fetishes that are hard to accept. While this fetish might be odd, it’s usually harmless

Talk to him, be open-minded, understand his feelings. Try to work out a compromise for both of you. You don’t need to  play nappy games with your husband, but you could let him wear nappies when he’s on his own.


Who should climax first?

Dear Angela

My girlfriend (19) and I (24) have a great sex life. We make love four to five times a week and she orgasms most of the time. There is one thing that we constantly quarrel about: I think it’s best if I orgasm first (this is what we always do). But she thinks it’s better if she comes first. She says she’d like to feel me inside her when she comes, and that’s only possible if she comes first.

ANGELA SAYS: Overall, it’s better if the female partner comes first – not only for the female, but also for the male. Once she has an orgasm, the pressure is off you - you can relax and enjoy without having to worry about her climax. This works best for most couples, but not for all, so give it a try and see how it works for you. If you and your girlfriend keep disagreeing, go for a fair compromise and take turns.