My wife is ruining our 14-year-old son by giving in to him no matter what he wants or does.
He is constantly getting notes from school about bad behaviour or not doing his homework, but no matter how much trouble he gets in to she will always stand up for him.
We also have a girl and compared to her brother she is an angel.
I want to help my son to be more responsible and to stop looking for a way out if he messes up. What’s the best approach?
Maura says: The first person to talk to is your wife. She’s doing your son no favours whatsoever by letting him off the hook when he gets notes from school. This kind of support does more damage than good and his behaviour backs this up.
I would make an appointment to speak to a teacher or perhaps a guidance counsellor to discuss your son’s behaviour. You may want to have a meeting on your own first to explain how your wife supports your son when he least deserves it.
However, she needs to be included at some point as it’s vital both of you are on the same page in order to turn your son’s life around.