AN OFFALY BIG BAR BEHIND A SMALL FACADE
It stretches so far back that staff should get travelling expenses!
NOLANS BAR, BIRR, CO. OFFALY
THE Old Commando stood gazing at the exterior of this pub for a good 60 seconds.
He appeared to be in a trance, before blurting: "Now that is what I call a nice façade. It reminds me of the old hucksters shop. Wouldn't it bring back the memories," he said.
He was staring at Nolans pub in Birr and he really got carried away. He insisted that this pub had to be inspected and, that judging
by the exterior, it was a small intimate little spot.
He may have been correct about the age and value of the façade but he was wrong when assuming that it was a small pub.
In fact, it ran so far back from the front door that the Young Commando suggested that the bar staff serving the last tables could claim 'travelling expenses'.
We found it unusual in it's layout, in that the front section resembled a porch, while the real bar was just beyond an old partition.
This first area was bright, with the beautiful stained-glass windows allowing the sun to light up the place where a good mixture
of punters were having a whale of a time, with a great mixture of drinks and good conversation.
The furniture here was old but in good condition and we were entertained by some of the punters' chit-chat. One of the older men was telling his friends a story from the Bible and how the old saying: 'Doubting Thomas' came into existence.
"Jaysus boss, they couldn't be that backward down here, could they," remarked the Young Commando.
The friendly lady lined the counter with pints of porter and, at the average midlands price of €3.80, they disappeared very fast.
The Old Commando again reminded us that this was a real old pub as he pointed at the formica front counter, where two more old men sat in a peaceful gaze clutching pints of Guinness like a child clutching its bottle.
"Where else would you see it only in rural Ireland. Isn't it fantastic," said the old Commando.
That second section is partitioned from the front, but one of the Commandos made the point that the porch area might not be so comfortable when the winter winds are blowing hard and fast.
Despite the age of the premises the taps were the latest and the bar is well stocked with beverages. The old shelving was packed with bottles of a great variety of beers and spirits, and the punters here will have no need of complaint.
Some of the stools in this tiny little bar have backs on them and we found all of them very comfortable during our brief stay. Further in, there is an old fireplace but we felt its location wouldn't make it too effective because of the overall layout.
This pub stretches way back and while we didn't reach the far end we assumed it might offer other facilities, such as pool and/or darts.
We found the toilets to be in decent order - though the stainless-steeel urinal could do with a hosing down. The place is lit by two skylights and the cubicle was immaculate. The sink was in order, as was the electric dryer.
Before departing we all agreed that on the day - the real craic was in that porch area, but the old Commando still opted for what he termed the 'real bar' the far side of that partition.
"The bar is the bar" he said. It's a pub we will return to.
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BRIAN WHELEHAN’S, BIRR
THE Old Commando remembered being here before and said the place was looking even better now.
He went on to inform us that one of the greatest hurlers of all time, the great Brian Whelehan, was the proprietor.
The Young Commando said he couldn't care less about the hurling but he had to admit that the pint was the 'greatest' he had tasted
in a long time.
The front bar is a nice size, with a fabulous lounge further inside.
Some of the troops settled for the bench seating underneath the stained front window and enjoyed the warm sun on their backs.
There is a nice brown timber panelling on the lower half of the walls that contribute to a very warm atmosphere and the punters were the real 'salt of the earth' as far as chat was concerned.
We were disappointed to find no seat on the toilet but hopefully it will be looked after. The toilets were otherwise fine.
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DRINKERS crying over the recession must be doing it into their beer while at home.