ColumnistsPaddy Murray

Leaders can put on a brave face, but they’re in a poll lot of trouble

Ed Milliband
Ed Milliband

There must be a little factory somewhere making Brave Faces.

Because there are a lot of people all over Britain who are wearing them today.

It’s one of the sights we love to see at election time, isn’t it? The guy from the party we don’t support squirming as he tries to explain why a) he lost his seat or b) he didn’t win the seat he was a model to win according to the opinion polls.

They try their damnedest to be gracious. But you can tell that, behind the plastered-on smile, they’d love to let rip.

Wouldn’t you love a losing Labour candidate to get up and say: “I don’t blame the media. I don’t blame the turnout. I don’t blame the stupid voters. I blame that idiot Miliband. What were we thinking electing a clown like that to lead the party?”

Mind you, two words might explain why Labour suffered so badly:

Russell Brand.

I actually half expected a defeated Liberal to come clean: “Nick Clegg. Oh yeah, he got a nice gig in Downing Street didn’t he? Nice salary too and a fine pension. But he led us down the garden path and up the creek. As for the promise that he would NEVER raise tuition fees before raising them, who the hell does he think he is, Pat Rabbitte?”

Even the Shinners have to put something of a brave face on it having lost a seat in the North. But it’s unlikely you’ll hear anyone blaming Gerry Jong Un, I mean Adams, for the defeat.

Of course our guys are facing into an election in 11 months.

And, a bit like the one just finished across the water and over the border, it’s pretty hard to predict what might happen.

Fine Gael think they’ll do okay, what with the economy picking up.

Most people seem to think Labour will emulate the Greens last time and the Lib Dems in Britain this time.

Fianna Fáil may well follow Ed Miliband’s Labour Party.

Our nationalists, the Shinners, will do a lot better than UKIP, but how much better?

And as for the raggle taggle lefties, well I think a few of them would be wise to get their gracious speeches ready.

Not forgetting, of course, to blame media conspiracies.