ColumnistsDaragh Keany

There's better places for Trump to build walls

Daragh KeanyBy Daragh Keany
There's better places for Trump to build walls

What is it with Donald Trump and walls?

The tangoed TV star has breathed life into the racist, ignorant few in America and pinned his farcical presidential campaign on hate.

So much hate in fact, that he wants to build a wall along the bottom of America at a cost of billions to keep Mexicans out.

Far more worryingly, this week he announced that he wants to build another enormous wall around his estate at Doonbeg in county Clare.

The picturesque grounds are one of the biggest draws for the region and the floppy haired idiot wants to ruin it by building a €10m boundary wall along the 2.8km perimeter.

I want him to spend his money here, just not in that way.

There are far better places to build walls here in Ireland and if Mr Trump is looking for some suggestions, I have a few.

Dear Mr Trump, could you spare some of the boulders so that we can build a wall around that joker politician Paul Murphy’s house, while he is in there?

You could save yourself a brick or two by leaving room for the postman to deliver his water bill too. 

I also need a few more of your limestone boulders to build a wall around the Fair City plot in RTE.

Enough is enough Mr Trump. There is more drama in a single Republican debate than an entire season of the soap.

And finally, might I suggest we build a wall around the Dáil in the capital? I have a feeling it will not be needed for a long long time.

While I have you – are you any good at bridges? I ask because maybe we should think about building a bridge between Castlebar and Turner’s Cross.

We need to get Martin and Kenny to get this country back open for business.