ColumnistsDaragh Keany

Gift grabbing pregnant ponces are at it again

Gift grabbing pregnant ponces are at it again

Riddle me this…when did Irish people become Celtic Tiger ponces again?

If anything positive could be spun from the horrific recession this country has just experienced, it is that we all learned a valuable lesson in thriftiness. 

Money was no longer being splurged like it was going out of fashion and expectations were dumbed down to a far more realistic level. 

One such idiotic ‘splurge’ was the introduction of the infuriating baby shower into a mum-to-be’s pregnancy.

Like a scene out of middle-America’s Stepford Wives – women would congregate and dote on the pregnant subject while stuffing themselves on cupcakes, swilling champagne and presenting them with lavish gifts. 

Remember them? Of course you do – because they are still happening and the annoying snaps are popping up on my Facebook timeline at an alarming rate.

The crazy and, in my opinion, selfish tradition forces friends and family to dig deep and fork out for a gift for the pregnant lady, just weeks before the baby is born. 

Fast forward a few weeks and the new family are open for business – so you get the invite to see the little bundle of joy. But you can’t turn up without another gift.  

Then, fast forward another few months and it is Christening time and because you’ve been to the God-damn baby shower you are automatically part of the Christening ceremony, which yet again requires an overpriced squeaky toy. 

That’s three mandatory gifts in a matter of months. It is too much so let’s knock the baby shower bulls**t on the head. Have a party if you must. You deserve a knees-up before junior arrives – but don’t expect gifts. It’s not fair on the guests.