Made In Chelsea's JP contemplated suicide after depression took hold
Made In Chelsea's Josh Patterson suffered from depression so badly that he even thought about suicide.
The reality TV star, known as 'JP' in the E4 series, first struggled with his mental health when his parents began arguing when he was just nine years old. They divorced when he was 13, and that's when Josh began acting out, because he had no other way of dealing with his feelings.
"The way I was behaving in school became very erratic, I became very aggressive, and just not having an understanding of the way I was behaving, why I was doing it and the effect it was having on my life," Josh said during an interview on Good Morning Britain on Friday (05Feb16). "And not being able to express it because of not having that understanding. It was a bad cycle.
"I think it was acting out in class, my behaviour with teachers. You don't really know whether you are doing it as a cry for help. When I was getting home, my aggression with my parents - I was smashing things. I think it was just a way of relieving that anger within me."
Josh explained that things came to a head one evening when he really thought about taking his own life. But a message to his friends made him reconsider, and things quickly changed for the best.
"Things for me got so bad because I wasn't talking to my parents, I wasn't talking to my friends about it," he continued. "It was only until one evening when things just got too much. For me I've always thought I'm a very headstrong guy and it got to the point where I just couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. And that's when suicide sort of came into play.
"So this one evening I ended up messaging some friends of mine and sort of saying, 'Look, this is it guys, I just can't take it anymore'. But I had that hesitation straight after and I think by doing that I realised that there was so much great in my life and I had such wonderful parents and such an amazing sister to support me that I kind of felt it was selfish to act out like that.
"So I ended up calming myself down and went into school the next morning where the teachers were waiting for my arrival, my friends had told them. The silver lining was that that was the way of releasing all that - the teachers then had a better understanding of what I was going through which then went on to improve things."
Josh is now working to raise awareness of depression in young people, with statistics showing that one in 10 schoolchildren has a mental health problem - which equates to three in every classroom.
- Cover Media