Irish man convinces Selfridges Nutella salesman 'Arsemuck' is an Irish name
A Derry man with time on his hands has managed to convince Selfridges staff in London that 'Arsemuck' is an Irish name and that he wanted it printed on a jar of Nutella.
The store allows customers to personalise jars for friends and family.
While at first concerned that Seamas O'Reilly may in fact have requested a rude word, playing on the Italian product's vague resemblance to human waste, Mr O'Reilly calmly explained in his Derry brogue that, in fact, Arsemuck is a popular Irish name.
He shared his encounter with a hazelnut spread salesperson to website Mashable.
He said: "I started with the Irish term 'backdirt', which means sh*te.
"Their set-up was fairly meticulous though; about four people working there, two at the front taking orders manning the tills, another at the back printing the labels, and usually a duty manager skulking around.
"Avoiding or bypassing these other workers became part of the thrill."
Speaking of having the term 'backdirt' printed on the jar, he said: "They literally took it away from me at the paypoint once they read it,"
"For today's one ['bumgravy'], I noticed a guy had been left manning the kiosk by himself, and I'd never dealt with him before.
"The previous two trips, I'd actually left the queue because I swore I saw the manager nudging staff and pointing me out.
"I like to imagine they have a mugshot of me back there, smiling innocently and, underneath, the words "NO MOR JARZ" smeared in thick, delicious, name brand hazelnut paste.
"It's kind of hard to come up with more that explicitly imply that there's poo in the jar.
"I also don't particularly like Nutella. And they're pretty expensive."
The dialogue went a little like this:
Guy: "Sorry you can not have this one."
Me: "Excuse me?"
Guy: "This one."
Me: [Stares quizzically]
Guy: "Is a rude one. Sorry."
Me: "Oh, right no, wait! Sorry, do you mean because of Arse?"
Guy: (Nods sheepishly).
Me: "No, ha, Arsemuck is an Irish name."
Guy: (embarrassed) "Ohhhhhhh."
Guy: "I'm sorry sir." (Laughs, wraps package and hands it to me)
Me: "Haha, don't be sorry. Oh, that's funny. I can't wait to tell him this."
Me: "It's the Irish for Arsenio"
Guy: "Right, right. I know it."
Me: "Ha, do you get a lot of rude ones?"
Guy: "All the time, sir."
Me: "What's the rudest one you've had?"
(Guy thinks for literally 15 seconds)
Guy: "Probably fatpussy sir."
Me: "You can't be too careful. Bye!"
Mr O'Reilly then took to Twitter to share the visual proof of his achievement.
I can now confirm that Selfridges will put *anything* you ask for on a Nutella jar. pic.twitter.com/i5DFjtAHHr— Shocko (@shockproofbeats) December 9, 2015
Mums: You did an English degree would you recommend it for my son? Me: Yeah! PS here's what I've been up to recently pic.twitter.com/N9xmEi8Mma— Shocko (@shockproofbeats) January 13, 2016