Food & DrinkPub Spy

Chaser’s a fine pub... butt we had one issue

The Chaser, Kells
The Chaser, Kells

The Chaser, Kells, Co Meath

THE Old Commando couldn’t wait for this trip. He sat in the back of the pub-mobile and was acting like the state pathologist on our journey to Kells in Co Meath as he tried to determine what exactly caused the demise of the county’s  footballers last Sunday in Croke Park.

“I thought we’d be coming here and the streets would be lined with green-and-gold flags for the Leinster final. They must be sick,” the Old Commando stated.

“I’m sure you’re really going to help improve their humour anyway,” the Young Commando jokingly replied. “You’ll be winding them all up from the minute we arrive,” he added.

We can’t recall the last time we visited Kells, but it wasn’t today or yesterday and for most of the troops it was their first visit to this historic town.

As we walked the streets in search of a watering hole the Young Commando spotted The Chaser pub and suggested it would be the perfect place to check out. We reckon he was just excited because there was free wi-fi advertised at the front door.

There was a big crowd in the bar when we arrived but the barman, Charlie, served us straight away and he engaged us all in friendly banter.

The Old Commando was feeling slightly hungover so he couldn’t wait to get ‘the cure’. He paid Charlie €4 for the creamy pint of stout and he couldn’t praise it highly enough.

We’re not sure if the glasses are stored in the refrigerator or not but it was ice cold and he had no complaints. If you’re looking for some cheap drinks then there are pints of Carling cider available for just €3.

The Young Commando had just logged in to use the wi-fi but he  was soon forced to abandon his plans when the signal began to cause interference with the TV reception. The barman switched off the modem as the horse racing was considered of far more importance than internet surfing among the male clientele.

There is a pool table located directly in front of the bar and it’s far from the ideal location. There were five or six young men gathered around the table creating plenty of noise and we always prefer when they’re located as far away from the bar as possible as to not interfere or cause inconvenience to other customers.

There was a good atmosphere in the pub and the Old Commando decided not to ruin it by mentioning last week’s horror show in Croke Park. He figured they had suffered enough and he didn’t wish to inflict any further misery on the heartbroken Royal County men.

The timber and black tiled floor was in need of a sweep and the area surrounding the solid fuel stove was definitely in need of a clean.

We were very disappointed to see numerous cigarette butts thrown at the base of the stove and questioned how difficult it must be to monitor people smoking just five or six feet from the bar.

Unfortunately, our mood wasn’t helped when we checked out the loos upstairs. There were two cubicles and both were dirty. One of the toilets was badly soiled and there was no toilet seat, while the other had a cigarette butt sitting on it. There was another cigarette butt sitting in the stainless steel urinal, there was a hole in the ceiling and one of the sink taps didn’t work.

The Chaser bar is a lovely boozer with a beautiful stone exterior and lovely red-brick interior walls.

The bar had a good atmosphere and the barman was very friendly and pulled good porter but we had no choice but deduct a ‘pint’ from their rating due to the numerous cigarette butts we found on the premises and the poor state of the loos.


*** Three-pint rating