THERE has been a certain man with reality TV connections in Munster claiming I lost weight due to gastric banding.
He is NOT to be believed. I lost my weight thanks to Slender Xcellerate. My lawyers are watching.
Oh, and speaking of all things speedy, watch out for the gorgeous Rachel Wyse on her new motoring show Xccelerate on TV3 at 11am today.
BEST of luck to our Irish Oscar hopefuls tonight.
The Secret of Kells and Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty are up for Best Animation Film while other nominees include Richard Baneham and Peter Devlin up for Best Sound.
God knows the movie industry could use the shot in the arm.
It would do more good for jobs than a cabinet of globetrotting Paddy's Day ministers.
I WAS sad to learn of Irish owned Hughes & Hughes bookshop going into receivership. They've been a great supporter of Irish authors and yours truly down through the years. What a shame.
CAN somebody please tell me why Conor Lenihan, Science Minister, must travel to Vietnam this Paddy's Day?
I mean, honestly, who is it really benefiting? Not the taxpayer that's for sure. And hardly the Vietnamese either.
But Conor is not the only one about to squeeze the country's finances even further this St Patrick's Day. Oh no, there's plenty of pointless Ministerial people handing out the shamrock this year. While Barry Andrews possibly bagged himself the best trip to New York, we're sending Michael Finneran (who, I hear you cry?) Housing Minister to China no less, and Eamon Ryan to India.
Not on his bike unfortunately.
And Paul Gallagher, Attorney General to the United Arab Emirates. I could bore you with the endless list, but I can feel my blood starting to boil at the idea of all these free jollies.
Just hearing that Mary Harney is heading down to New Zealand irks me. Am I alone in feeling this way? I mean, do New Zealanders really care about Paddy's Day? And even if they do, is Mary Harney's gnarling face the Irish dream we're trying to sell?
On the flip side, I was thrilled to hear that Katie Taylor will be making it to The White House this St Patrick's Day.
Now she is a woman who fills me up with national pride.
In a time of recession, I really don't feel that sending our extended team of misfit Ministers to farflung shores is advisable.
So seeing as we're on the hunt for ideas to help the nation with the 'Your Country, Your Call' campaign, how about this?
Let's send some genuine success stories that might make the Chinese and the Indians think about Ireland in a favourable light.
Send Colin Farrell Down Under and leave Mary Harney at home. Ask Saoirse Ronan to head to New York and Roy Keane to China.
One foreign expense I'd happily spring for this year is a comb for An Taoiseach.
Would it be too much to ask for him to brush up well for the handing of the shamrock to Barack Obama?
Maybe Katie can knock him into shape...
